Sunday, 24 March 2013

There's a few things that are hard for average people to understand

I'm kinda in a state of physical limbo.
It's damn hard to explain.
Because most people have no conception of what it's like to be 'half-n-half'.
For example...
For years, no decades, until I was 40 my left knee would dislocate.
Roughly once a month or so.
I mean that bone down the back of your calf.
There'd be a sudden movement and I'd be on my back in agony.
Muscles frantically jamming solid trying to move an immovable object etc.
Pain washing over me like waves...
I'd have to...
and if you're squemish skip to the next paragraph...
I'd have to jam my wrist around the back of my knee and with the other arm yank hard on my ankle.
There'd be this enormous "THWACK" as the bone snapped back into position.
I'd then faint.
My mother would run into the kitchen to avoid this.

Thankfully I don't have that problem now.
I'm guessing because of HRT dropping muscle mass etc.
But the basic issue still persists.
And it's so hard to explain because very few people have any idea what to equate it to.
I have a left collar bone.
Oh. Yes. You do too. That thin one at the top of your chest.
Left side.
Your other left.
Anyway I've broken it a couple of times.
But that's not the issue.
The 'ball' at the end that fits into your chest bone is 'gracile.'
The socket is 'robust'.
For the non-anatomically inclined that roughly means gracile=>female, robust=>male.
So it doesn't quite fit.
And occassionally pops out.
And people in an office setting are sometimes privy to me pushing my chest out and...
As I pop it back into place.
Sometimes it doesn't work.
Like today.
I've been walking around all day with a dislocated collar bone trying to snap it back into place.
Caring for kittens.
Sweating with pain.
Wiping tears away because you just have to soldier on.
"Ship? Out of danger?"
Still haven't got it back into place.
Hot showers help.
Pain killers?
Nothing - not a dent.
You have no clue what I'm talking about.
Life sucks sometimes.