Monday 19 September 2016

Leak this: A Concerned Member of the Rest of the World

From: a.concerned.member.of.the.rest.of.the.rest.of@world.com
To: everybody.in.the.the.corporate@states.of.america.com
Subject: Hello? Hello? Is there anybody in there?

Ok. We've watched the show.
Geting tired.
And worried.
Due to a slight issue with your constitution and electoral college system, you seem to have a problem.
We.
The rest of the world.
Are...
Well...
Concerned.
It seems like you've missed the point.
We have universal health care and... Oh we don't need to go on. It's all there.
In policies similar to, but not far enough, Bernie.
So...
We have to ask:

What The Fork Are You Doing?
You have to choose between two megalomaniacs?
Why?
Seriously.
Why?
One will get to the oval office and spin the chair around whooping "I did it! WooHoo!".
And the other will ask where the cameras and lights are for the upcoming series:
- Apprentice: Dept of Justice
- Apprentice: Supreme court

Ok.
Time to grow up.
Please.
Please stop this.
It's just silly.
Stop it.
Please.

Sunday 18 September 2016

I AM NOT A "SENIOR"

And speaking of birthdays...
Had my 60th recently.
And received a news letter from my local MP.
Here's a photo:

Bastard.
I threw a tantrum and hurled it across the room.
An admittedly restrained tantrum as I had to maneuver my walker and take my medication.
Ben, being sane and unwilling to face my ungodly wrath, left it where it was.
That was some days ago now.
It's been sitting there like a malevolent pixie jeering at me from the corner.
"I AM NOT A SENIOR!" I mutter under my breath...
Bastard.
I picked it up and it will be going on the BBQ tonight.
Bastard.
I'll be dropping a baseball bat, a roll of barbed wire and instructions on how to insert it into various orifices on my local MPs doorstep when the battery on my mobility scooter has charged.