Wednesday, 30 January 2013

I think I will have to wash my eyeballs with bleach


I did something tonight that I never normally do.
I watched a un-frackin-believably bad movie to the bitter end.
Despite the better engines of my nature.
Despite my brain desperately trying to climb out of my skull and strangle me I might add.
It was about a pair of Viz characters called San and Tray.
The "Fat Slags" if you don't know anything about them.

Now I like Viz.
If I see a copy I always buy it.
The Ads alone make it worth it.
"Klondike Kittens! Sh*t their own weight in gold!"
"Chessington world of sheds!"
And the like.
But then I guess I'm corrupt.
It's an absurd comic with racist, sexist and just plain stupid strips.
They make you laugh, even though you don't want to admit it.
If you've never seen it, and have any sensibilities at all, don't look for it.
In fact, don't buy it if you are any mother, father, child, dog, cat or, for that matter, any living creature.
Or not-living.
I suspect it would corrupt a lump of coal if it was exposed to it.
In any case, you'll end up with a substance resembling guacamole running out of your ears.
If you have ears.
Coal might have problems.
But would probably spontaneously burst into flames.

But it's kinda funny.
In a comic way.
Not in a movie way.
The movie was appalling.

I sat with my mouth open, totally stunned, for the entire movie.
There was a part of my brain screaming at me to press stop.
For Wotans sake.
STOP.
But I persevered.
It was so bad.
Never again.
Never.
Ever.
Ver.
Er.
R.

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