Monday 20 February 2012

Movie Review: Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl

Yes really.
Normally when we watch a sci-fi or horror movie that is bad and takes it self seriously, I rip on it.
But this movie is just plain insane.
And hilarious.

So how would I describe it? Well. Take Bob the Builder, then add:
  All the Troma films
  Hannibal Lecter
  The Banana Splits
  Film it in Japanese
  Snort coke
  Laced with acid
Now you have a sense for the movie.

Things I learned:

  1. Vampires have flip top heads with 3,000 teeth.
  2. Japanese people have around 6,000 liters of blood at high pressure.
  3. Stiches are so last century - why not use philips head screws - which are alive.
  4. Blood is sneaky - a single drop can chase you around the room and charge up a mop handle.
  5. All nurses are sex starved sluts.
  6. Sumo warriors have head mounted cannon.
  7. Vampires have built-in blood powered roller skates.
  8. St Francis was a psychotic nutso-bong vampire killer.
  9. High school chemistry teachers follow in the footsteps of Herbert West - but with feelings and full Kabuki kit.
  10. Janitors are never involved with the killings.
  11. Frankenstein girls can fly but only by bolting their arms to their heads and spinning them.
  12. And have interchangeable flesh lego/meccano parts.
  13. Igor (the janitor) can explode into dust for no apparent reason.

Admittedly you'll get a hernia from laughing, but it's worth it.

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