Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Yet another example of UK eccentricity

We tended to leave our rear windows open, but we overlook a railway station on that side, so we had to drop off to sleep with the dulcet tones of a railway announcer explaining where the train on platform 2 is off to and how any unattended parcels will be taken away and destroyed.

Since the railway authorities decided to build a bridge between platforms, we also tended to be woken up by the sound of tramping feet and announcements that to leave the station would all passengers use the bridge to platform 3.

We know the routes of the trains off by heart of course, something which we would dearly love to forget.

Early Saturday and Sunday mornings were the worst since hoons from the many nightclubs in the area try to catch trains at 3am.
Now the trains stop running around that time.
So they are told in no uncertain terms by a station dude that there are no more trains.
Evidence from this conversation at 3:30am morning:

Announcer: There are no more trains from this station. Please exit the station via the bridge.
Hoons: [loud shouting, sounds of breaking bottles]
Announcer: There aren’t any more trains. Please leave.
Hoons: F**k you mate! WooHoo! England forever!
Announcer: You’re on CCTV. Please leave.
Hoons: [more shouting sounds of breaking wood]
Announcer: We’ll call the police if you don’t leave.
Hoons: [crashing sounds, laughter and more breaking bottles]
Announcer: You can’t hide behind that billboard. You’re on CCTV. We can see you.
Hoons: England Forever! England Forever!
Announcer: That may be so, but there are no more trains. Please leave.
Hoons: [more breaking wood]
Announcer: That fence is above a 12 foot drop. I wouldn’t use that as an exit.
Hoons: [loud crashing sound in our car park]
Announcer: You’re on CCTV. Don’t try to use that as an exit. Use the station exit.
Hoons: [crash. bang. thud.]
Announcer: That’s it. I’m calling the police.
Hoons: [swearing and moans]

At which point I looked out of our rear window. The lunatics had climbed over a 6 foot fence and crashed down into our car park. Now I need to mention that this 6 foot fence is on top of a 8 foot concrete wall. They had fallen between cars some 14 foot. To my amazement they all got up, linked arms and staggered drunkenly towards the entrance to our flats shouting loudly: "That’ll show ‘em! England Forever!" They did stop at one point to all urinate on a rose bush but disappeared from view shortly thereafter.

Now I need to point out that the entrance to the flats is only a short distance from the entrance to the train station. And they have to pass that entrance to get to a taxi stand which is partially visible from the rear window over the top of the station. So they didn’t achieve much. A few minutes later I did notice some flashing blue back lighting on our roof from that taxi stand.

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