Thursday, 13 September 2012

How to piss off Indian call centre employees and have fun.


Had an entertaining conversation with an Indian call centre recently.
Very entertaining.
Normally I just say "take me off your call list and piss off" and hang up.
This time I got into a conversation to see how far I could go.

Them: Can I speak to Mr Smith please?
Me:     Who's calling?
Them: I'm calling from [insert dumb ass made up company name here].
Me:     What?
Them: I'm calling from [insert dumb ass made up company name here].
Me:     Ok... Just writing that down.
Them: Can I speak to Mr Smith please?
Me:     What is the call about?
Them: Are you Mr Smith?
Me:     That's not relevant. I screen all calls to find out what they are about.
Them: Can I speak to Mr Smith please?
Me:     What is the call about?
Them: I need to speak to Mr Smith.
Me:     What is the call about?
Them: This is not a sales or marketing call. I need to speak to Mr Smith.
Me:     I need to know what it is regarding before I continue.
Them: I need to speak to Mr Smith.
Me:     Tell you what... You tell me your name and I'll tell you mine. Ok?
Them: Ok. My name is James Carter.
Me:     Rubbish. You're Indian. What's your Indian name?
Them: Er... My name is not important.
Me:     It is to me. What's your name?
Them: Er... Pradeep [something].
Me:     Excellent. Just writing that down.
Them: Er... Now... What is your name?
Me:     I lied. My name is not important. What do you want to speak to Mr Smith about?
Them: [silence] I need to speak to Mr Smith about an opportunity.
Me:     Ah. So you lied too. This is a sales or marketing call.
Them: No. No. I mean... I need to speak to Mr Smith.
Me:     There's no-one here by that name.
Them: What?
Me:     There. Is. No. One. Here. By. That. Name.
Them: Are you Mr Smith?
Me:     That's not relevant.
Them: [click]

So. I had fun. Sorta like wrestling a pig, getting muddy and liking it.

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