Thursday 27 September 2012

The Borg have invaded! And they're after our veggies!

I know.
But look at this:

"We are spinach. We are borg. All your veggie belong to us! All your herbs and things will have their distinct characteristics added to us. We will have green things coming out of our ears. After all, you're closer to a potato genetically than a rabbit. Wait. Hold on. No that's not true. But we don't care. We will assimilate all spinach thingies. Oh and dairy products as well. Including cheese."
"Sharon! Sharon! Who wrote this copy? Who? Roger! WTF? But he's from that bloody vegetable planet! What? Yes. Tea Please. No not green tea. Dammit. I want real tea. Burnt leaves. Oh don't start crying. It's just Roger blathering on about his distinctiveness. Real tea! Why we went there I'll never know. Every since we assimilated their distinctiveness I've been coughing up beetroot juice. Oh well. Must carry on. WE ARE BORG YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED!"
"Roger. Who the hell let him near a typewriter? What? Well that's what we have to use now we visited that so called machine planet. Machines my shiny, and now blue because of Roger, ass. They had a moon shot! Did you know that? Steam powered. What the hell? They attached TVs to typewriters and called them computers. Management. Phbbbbttt! I don't know why I bother. Yes. Bloody burnt leaves for Cthulhu's sake. Vegetables! Bloody things. Can't live without them, can't even eat them now. Bloody things. Always getting underfoot. Anything on the telly? Life of Herbs? You have got to be kidding. That's it! I'm getting my resume together."

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