Friday, 23 March 2012

Portal for Programmers - Still Have a Job


(Sung to the song from Portal Still Alive)

Project management
I'm making a note here: No success
In all my years, I've mostly just seen failures

They call it a science
We do what we must because they say
For the good of all them
Except the ones who have quit

But there's no use crying over every deadline
We just keep on trying to get it done on time
And you claim that it's done when you get it to run
For the people who still have a job

I'm very angry
It's hard to be happy right now
Even though we put it live this morning
And managed a demo
And passed the quality testing
We all know it's gonna fail cause we cut so many corners
Now the bugs are piling faster all of the time
We skipped over beta, that was the first bad sign
While the employees churn
We forget what we learned
For the people who still have a job

Go ahead and fire me
I think I'd prefer to go freelance
At least I won't have to deal with this shit
Make me redundant
I'll take the money and just run
And find a better job without dealing with all of this pain

But that's wishful thinking while there's projects to do
If we fail again the client's going to sue
I've got projects to run, management to be done
On the people who still have a job

And I think that I still have a job
I really pray that I still have a job
I am not sure that still have a job
Sometimes I wish I did not have a job
And after this I may not have a job
HAVE A JOB
Have a job

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