Monday, 18 June 2012

When life gives you lemons, charge them with C4 and lob em back

Had a 'Cicero' moment yesterday.
Contact with youth.
Made my blood boil.

So. Here's the situation.
My mother is in hospital.
And they, as a policy, don't allow people over a certain age, to wear their own underwear.
They require the use of special 'approved' underwear.
It's from the super-market and don't cost much, so it's not that much of a big deal other than embarrassment.

Anyway, I went to the super-market to get some for my mum as she was running low.
As I approached the section where they were stacked, I noticed 2 guys and a girl with a stroller and young baby.
They were laughing themselves silly pointing at the incontinence pads and the special underwear.
Making jokes, pretending to have just peed accidentally and what not.
They had passed by the time I had figured out which pack I had to purchase.

But it got me thinking.

You evil, malodorous, small minded, snotty nosed, pimply faced, vacuous, little herberts.

One day you'll either be in your 50's buying special underwear for your mother, or you'll be in your 80's embarrassed as f**k asking your daughter to buy them for you.
And god forbid that kid in your stroller will be the one having to buy them for you.

I got to the 10 items or less checkout and they were there.
Still making jokes.
I turned and gave them my most evil 10,000 yard gimlet stare.
Looked up at the mother.
Looked down at the kid.
Smiling brightly, I waved the pack of special underwear at the kid and said "One day. One day you'll have to do this for your mother."
The young girl went beet red.
The guys looked like I'd bashed them with a fish.
Several other people smiled or clapped.

Doesn't happen often when you have the perfect comeback, but chance favours the prepared mind.

Update Wed 27 Jun: Just FYI, this post had so many views we made a T-Shirt...

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