Friday 30 December 2011

Is everything sh*t or is it just me? Oh and H.P.Lovecraft.

From way back in 2007:

I know that the whole H.P.Lovecraft thing is a tad out of the ordinary. Demons from the underworld and all that. My mother for instance may think that “it’s tampering with things man wasn’t supposed to understand...” 

Having said that, the loonies outside my front door have been tampering with things they don’t understand: like the English language, shoe laces, banks, credit cards and VCRs so I guess I’m in good company.

Frankly, after living in London for 6 years, I’m pretty blasé about strange things. Saw ‘em every day. So if a 100 foot monster with tentacles for a mouth rose out of the Thames and menaced the houses of parliament I, for one, wouldn’t bat an eyelid. 

Ok. Ok. Maybe one. And say things like “Welcome over-fiend from your vassals below!”

And given the average Londoners IQ I suspect they wouldn’t either. Witness that loonie David Blaine who hung suspended near tower bridge pretending to be unfed for a few weeks. Apart from the nob-heads who razzed him with comments like this:
“Hey David! David! David! David mate! Mate! David! Oi! David! Oi! David!” 
Until he moved and then added with the alacrity and unassuming nature of Londoners:
“You’re a wanker!”
And went laughing and breaking bottles away, I suggest that the average Londoners response to a demon from the pit of hell would be similar:
“He Ker-Thu-lu! Hey! Hey Mate! Mate! Ker-thu-Wanker! Oi! Oi! Mate! Down ‘ere mate! Me and me mates think you’re a wanker!”
So much for the dark over lord gaining universal acceptance. Unlikely in my opinion. Londoners would get on with the normal things of life amid the ruin and chaos of a “rubbery mass of feelers, scaly skin and prodigious claws” raining death and destruction, such as complaining about the tube fares and the length of queues in front of tellers in Brixton.

Anyway, I’m digressing. Sh*t. There’s a lot of it around. 

If you haven’t heard of Cthulhu, Lovecraft or Gibson just plain Google them. You’ll have ample time. It’s not hard. Do it.

Do it now...

Now. Now. Before the dark overlord (with rubbery feelers) brings chaos to your village... Let’s face it... Laws, morals, all thrown aside and all men shouting and killing and generally reveling (according to HPL) sounds not much different from the binge culture in Newcastle anyway. So at least get a head start. A couple of vodka shooters would do it...


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