Pocket Gophers? What?

Ben stumbled on this while perusing a site.
He burst out laughing.

"Pocket gophers!"

He spluttered and we started on some excited banter about it.
I must admit, it had me in stitches.
It's the idea that you'd be sitting quietly and someone:

a) Races over to you with a rubber mallet and starts bashing at your chest frantically or
b) You release "Zipper Ferrets" to get the little furry f**kers or
c) Someone suggests using Wallet Weasels or Sock snakes!

Now don't go saying this is silly.
After all, Paris Hilton has a Purse Dog.
It's not a fashion statement.
She just hasn't been to the Purse Dog Eradication Service yet.

Imagine this.
A dry cleaning service with this sign outside:

"2 hour turnaround! Pocket Gopher removal! Purse dogs a speciality!"

You get the drift.