Friday 20 April 2012

Movie Review: "The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption" (2012)

Don't bother. Unless you have a penchant for driving nails into your eyes with a jack hammer. Or wiring electrodes to your nether regions just to see what happens.

It's so frickin' dull.
So frickin' dull. And boring. And stupid. And silly. And... And.. O f**k it. I'm off to stuff my head in the microwave.

We watched it for about 1/2 hr. At that point I had almost lost the will to live and had decided it had turned into a Warner Bros cartoon. I decided to end it all by jamming toothpicks into my ears to drown out the appalling jokes.
It's frickin' awful.
The jokes are crude and endless and tedious.
The acting is, at best Uwe Bolle, and equal best frickin' awful.

We stopped it and went off to watch YouTube videos of a spider eating a snake.

That's how bad it is.

K.R.A.P. of the highest order.

Please. Please. Don't subject yourself to it. Go out and pray to Duke Dantalion to save you. At least he's a demon who teaches art and science which is what this move lacked in every important way. If you don't know what the f**k I'm talking about go google Ars Goetia.

To unquote Stephen Fry it was "Arse Gravy of the worst kind..." mainly because he wasn't talking about the movie, but could have been. And if he had ever seen even part of this movie, probably was.

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